I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
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