at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
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