I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
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