Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
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