I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Randomize
