He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
i drank out of a bidet.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
