K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
