I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize