Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
