On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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