we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
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