hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize