I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
