I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize