i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
