I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
