Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
