Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
