Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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