last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
