Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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