so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
