Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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