Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
