i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
FUCK WHALES
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