I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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