Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Randomize
