Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
