The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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