my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
