Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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