yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
