Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
My hand turned me down
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
