I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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