when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
