hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
