I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
His hands were made for my vagina.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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