So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
never play flip cup with pint glasses
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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