You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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