I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I'm passing your future prison.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
