Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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