Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize