I'm passing your future prison.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
