so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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