thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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