its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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