I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
