I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize