also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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