this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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