I'm really into asian looking animals
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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