yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
