Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
