Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Randomize
