i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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