The maid of honor just puked.
why didn't you poke me back
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
it's great music for shaving your balls
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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