I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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