dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
