carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize