i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize