Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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