What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
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