btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
