Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
