I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
there is puke in my bra ... again
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