garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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