Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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